General personal reading

Since I'm doing an IDS with the Tarot of the Sweet Twilight (by Cristina Benidente), and I was trying to have a nice, low key, relaxed day because of problems with my blood pressure, I thought it would be a good afternoon to do a non specific reading for myself.

I am using Tarot of the Sweet Twilight for all personal readings while doing the IDS. This is a deck that I am really on the fence about, but since I know that something attracted me to this deck initially, I am trying to give it a fighting chance before I pass it on to someone else.

I must admit that the two personal readings I have done with this deck have been amazingly accurate, but I believe this is due to my own tarot knowledge and intuition, rather than my intuitive reading with the imagery in the deck!

Under normal circumstances, working with tarot calms me, so with the health problems I've been having, I chose to do a reading. I can't say that it calmed me, but it certainly was accurate for where I am today.

The spread was a 10 card spread, called the "Star Maiden Wheel". I am unsure of where I got this spread, but I believe it came from Aeclectic Tarot's spread folder.

Card 1: What is in my heart?

The card was the Knave of Wands.

I am consumed by receiving news regarding Pete's immigration/Visa. This is affecting me on so many different levels right now, including my racing hard and elevated blood pressure. This card represents the message I need to hear right now. It is all I can think of.

Card 2: How others view me...

The card was the King of Wands.

People see me as being in charge of myself and my life. I used to be that person, and no one really realizes how much I have changed, and how much the circumstances I have been in have caused me to change. Nothing is in my control anymore. I no longer feel strong.

Card 3: Where I have been...

The card was the 3 of Wands.

I drew another card for clarification, it was the Knight of Wands. (Funny, I rarely have wands in my own personal readings - this shows how much my life has transformed over the past few days/weeks.)

I have been in limbo, yet my circumstances have been constantly changing. I feel as if I've been spinning my wheels for the past 7 years, going nowhere and everywhere, all at the same time.

Card 4: My health...

The card was The Tower.

Not exactly a stress reliever, under any circumstances...But it is a true indication of my health at this time. I'm going to have to take care of myself and get my thoughts and emotions under control, before I crumble completely.

Card 5: Who I really am right now...

The card was the 10 of Swords.

I'm in such a dark place that I am not myself at all. I have hit rock bottom physically and mentally, and I'm on the verge of being seriously ill. I am very depressed, and my current situation is very depressing.

Card 6: My love...

The card was the Ace of Pentacles.

I need a chance to improve our situation and our life together as a family. I need to see a light at the end of the tunnel for us. We have a wonderful relationship - the kids and Pete and I...We just need the opportunity to stand on firm ground for once in our life as a family.

Card 7: My relationship with family and friends...

The card was The Chariot.

I've been balancing it all with my relationships for so long, and it's been completely out of my control. It's as if I chose one path and everyone else chose another. I just want to make that journey home and get back to my life, a life that includes my husband. I want to get back on course and regain control. Everything else will fall into place if I can do this. My friends and family are waiting for me.

Card 8: What I want...

The card was the 5 of Cups.

I want to feel hope and optimism. I want the pain and misery that we've all been through to end.

Card 9: Work situation...(I should have changed this one before starting the reading!)

The card was the 8 of Wands.

I want to go back to work. I want to go home. I want to do both quickly.

Card 10: Outcome...

The card was the Knave of Chalices.

I will soon receive happy emotional news that will enable me a sort of rebirth - a reprieve from the feelings I am having right now. My children will play a huge part in this.